It’s that time of year again when many people are already feeling a sense of inadequacy around their New Year’s resolutions. While yearly resolutions help some, the tradition is often unsuccessful. The goal may be too big, it can be challenging to maintain motivation by oneself, and the tendency toward self-criticism are but a few of the factors that combine to make realization of one’s goals a daunting task. The good news is that simple strategies can help you reach your goals. Try these 10 tips:
- Start small.
Taking on a large goal is tempting, but it’s also the most sure-fired way to fail. If the goal is too much of a stretch, it can fuel a downward cycle: lack of achievement, decreased motivation, and self-criticism. By starting small, you increase the likelihood of taking the vital action steps, and each “win” helps build your belief that you can achieve your goals. This creates an upward spiral of confidence, motivation, optimism, and competence: all key ingredients of self-efficacy and success. Gary Hamel, author of the 2007 Amazon best business book of the year, The Future of Management, defines the key to success as “win small, win early, win often.” - Envision success.
Envision a day in the future where you’ve accomplished your resolution. Close your eyes and sit for a few minutes, letting yourself bask in the experience of having reached your goal. Experiencing this wonderful state is much more motivating than berating yourself over something you weren’t able to accomplish. It can help you shift your focus to self-motivating questions such as “what small step can I take TODAY to help me get to this feeling?” and “what is a new way of thinking about my goal that will help me experience more of this feeling?” - Let go of old goals.
If you haven’t moved forward on a goal year after year, it’s time to think about what’s holding you back. Putting something on the list after years of not succeeding can start the year off with a sense of shame and disappointment. One option is to include a resolution to forgive yourself for things you didn’t accomplish and start taking credit for all that you do achieve. - Keep your list short.
Would you rather succeed at three out of three resolutions or one out of ten? It’s much easier to focus on a small number of goals than a long list. And think of the satisfaction you’ll have checking each one off! - Focus on “wants” instead of “shoulds.”
Focus on what you truly want to achieve, rather than on things you believe you “should” be achieving. To be successful at any life change, you have to really want it. It pays to take the time to consider what it is that you truly want, teasing out the things others have said you should do or stop doing. Similarly, Ryan and Deci’s theory of self-determination tells us that intrinsic motivation is much more powerful than that generated by external forces. - Resolve to “be” instead of “do.”
Make sure to include resolutions that involve “being” and not just ones that require “doing.” For example, a resolution could be: “This year, I will have more moments of being present with my family, times where I’m not focusing on all the work I have to get done.” “Being” resolutions are ones that you can achieve at any time. Even if you stray on a “being” resolution, you can accomplish it the next day… or even in the next hour. - Plan.
Start every day off by planning one small step you’ll take to get closer to your goal. This method of breaking down the larger goal into more feasible parts is a great way to make incremental change. It also reminds you that you, truly, are in charge of your fate. - Find an accountability partner.
Whether it’s your spouse, a friend, a coworker, or a coach, it’s much easier to follow through on goals if you have a buddy. In the best-case scenario, you’ll hold one another accountable. Tell your partner to go big on the cheerleading and championing as it’s much easier to succeed when there’s someone rooting for you and shouting, “I know you can do it!” - Don’t use your resolutions as a means to beat yourself up.
This is an area where many people falter. If you’re like most people, you probably have plenty of inner critics badgering you as it is. New Year’s resolutions provide fodder for these pernicious and ever-present gremlins. It’s much easier to move forward from a place of competency and strength rather than one of deficit and inadequacy. Try to keep your focus on what you are accomplishing instead of what you are not. - Don’t let a sense of failure stop you.
It’s all too easy to swing from the high of “this is the year I’ll accomplish X” to the low of “I just did the opposite of X; I’ll never achieve my goal.” In reality, every day represents a new opportunity to move toward your goals, so go ahead and be sure to seize an opportunity. This is true for New Year’s resolutions and true for any goal in your life. If failure presents a major hurdle for you, you can always think back to #6 and try to “be” instead of “do.” You might be surprised at how a change in perspective—viewing failure as a platform for growth instead of for sinking—can help you achieve different aspects of your goals.
Go forth and decide what steps you’ll take today. Even if you falter from your path, every moment of your life can be used to institute change. Remember, self-improvement is always within your reach.